Those Damn Marks

Tip to life: don't let me know how important mid-term marks are for getting into universities the same day you let me know that my mark in English (the one class whose average you HAVE to include in what you send to the unis) is absolutely appalling. Don't get me wrong, I know some people would KILL for a 76. But I cannot deal with a 76. The schools am I applying to will not accept a 76. I have a little over a month to drag this pathetic mark up to something passable. Meaning basically the pressure's on to get perfect on absolutely everything until then.

I wish I knew that I was screwing up because I'm slacking off. But I'm NOT slacking off. The fact that I am working my butt off and pulling these kinds of results TERRIFIES me. You have no idea how badly I want to get my average adequate and fly off to Halifax next year, but I'm starting to get really scared that that's never going to happen.

I wish that was the only notsome in my life right now. But then there's the fact that I definitely applied to six places and didn't get hired at any of them. Let me emphasize that I applied at a MOVIE THEATRE. I'm trying to work out how I could be doing so poorly right now and I... just can't. I need a job... and I resent the 'rents a bit for discouraging me from getting job experience when I was a bit younger... because now I can't get ANYTHING.

So basically it's time to focus. I'm going to put my all into my English presentation tomorrow. Then I'm going to spend the next two and a half days studying like mad for my SATs (I'm going to do a practice test on Friday, I'll let ya know how that one goes.) I'm going to dive into every character that is required of me in my drama class. And I am going to figure out whatever my goddamn French teacher wants from us if it kills me. And that's all before this weekend.

Am I looking forward to creating a PowerPoint presentation, filming a movie, celebrating Thanksgiving, and doing my SAT Reasoning Test all in one weekend? Not exactly. Will I do it with all the joy I can muster? Of course.

As stressful as it will make my life, I really need that job. Shit.

(Oh, another lovely note: I just discovered that my fears on the me-sister-mum front are confirmed. That is all.)

Let's end this positively. When I go to Prague in March. I will know my roommate. It'll be my friend of nearly 9 years. <3

Major assignments completed: 3
Days 'til my first SAT: 3
Weight lost: 15 pounds